WittyDittyFifty

1. Despite Santa mistaking me for a boy on more than one occasion, I am in fact a girl.

2. I had a pet mouse for 17 hours when I was a child.

3. I got my first (Stolen!) motorbike when I was 7 years old.

4. I have a bruise on my right foot that has been there since I was 3 years old.

5. I was conceived when my dad was taking speed, which would explain a few things…

6. Tarsiers are my favourite animal, partially because I think they have amazing skulls.

7. I can dislocate both of my shoulders.

8. I’m only ticklish on the palms of my hand and the roof of my mouth.

9. I like to wear Christmas socks with bells on all year round because they make me feel like a pixie.

10. I used to hate sloths but I’m slowly starting to appreciate them. I think if I got to hug one I might overcome my fear.

11. I once danced on stage with De La Soul.

12. I’ve met up and partied with a lot of people I’ve met on the internet. I’m impressed I haven’t been stabbed yet.

13. My local prostitutes like to make sure I get home safely when I walk home drunk.

14. I like to crack my neck to make people uncomfortable.

15. I’ve always wanted to break and arm or a leg but my bones are just stubbornly strong.

16.I have no road safety sense. I seem to think I’m tougher than cars because I will walk out into the road and expect cars to stop.

17. I want to be a Youth Worker one day so I have made it a thing to try as many things as possible so I can understand what they might be going through.

18. I’m obsessed with fancy dress despite never going to fancy dress parties.

19. A monkey once pulled my hair and refused to let go.

20. I’ve slept in a house and on a bed made of elephant poo.

21. When I was a baby I ate a bolt.

22. I have a crush on Johnny Bravo.

23. I never open letters, I get someone else to do it. Unless I know what’s in it, I panic.

24.30% of my speaking life has been spent making funny voices.

25. I got an A in woodwork when I was 16. I really wish I had kept up with doing woodwork.

26. I collect random little things that make me happy and store them in a huge vase so I can appreciate them all day.

27. I still play with lego…alone.

28. I don’t know what I’d do without a dictionary. I love words.

29. Seeing only 6% of the world upsets me a lot.

30. I collect old Bibles. I don’t know because I’m not religious, I just think they’re beautiful.

31. As a child I used to build sandcastles with blocks of wood hidden inside them so if any mean child tried to kick it over they’d break their toes.

32. I can’t bowl. Every time I try bowling I end up throwing the ball into the next lane.

33. I prefer to use men’s cologne over women’s perfume.

34. I own cassette tape box set of Lord of the Rings.

35. I have no musical talent, my brother stole it all. I stole the confidence, together we’d make an awesome rock star.

36. I had two Chinchillas as a child – one named Isaac and the other named Trotsky. Trotsky commited suicide and Isaac ran away.

37. It took 5 minutes for me to think of point to put here so I decided to write this while I think of number 38.

38. Despite having hundreds of notepads, post-its and electronic devices, I still rely on the back of my hand for important information I need to remember.

39. I’ve worked as a DJ in Thailand, when I was 9 years old.

40. I haven’t had a full head of natural hair colour since I was 10 years old.

41. I think stepping on a grape is what it’d feel like to step on an eyeball.

42. I’ve had tea and biscuits on a replica of Noah’s Ark.

43. I really want to go swimming in the river right now but it is dark, freezing and I’m already in my onesie.

44. I found letters in the attic from the previous owner, which seem to have been written to him while he spent time in a mental institution. I’ve put them in chronological order, stored them in plastic and hope to one day try and write his story.

45. I will write and illustrate a children’s book.

46. I love making people happy.

47. My cat’s name is Ninja Dave Juan Lee One.

48. I’ve been trying to understand Twitter all week and I still haven’t got a clue.

49. Since going to University I’m starting to think I might not be just a pretty face and there may well be a few sparks in this grey matter between my ears.

50. I’m obsessed with buying vintage buttons on eBay just because I like to wonder about their histories, where they’ve been, who has worn them and what outfits they belonged to.

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