Category Archives: Alcohol


Searching for answers through these pages of binary,
While my troubles become blurred with help of the winery.
But now my glass is empty and so are my hopes,
In moments like these I don’t know how anyone copes.
My loneliness is amplified with each stroke of the board.
The silence is deafening and can’t be ignored.
It all feels dramatic and I hate that about this.
I hide all the photos so I don’t reminisce.
Though my lips are sealed, my fingers are frantic;
Overthinking my actions and all the semantics.
So maybe it’s time I let these pixels rest,
Put a cork in it and hope for the best.

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Adios April!

This post has demonstrated to me that I have far too much time on my hands, so I am determined to make May the productive month, kicking off with a level-up in the aging process next week. But I still have 14 hours of April left so I am back to experimenting with ways I can utilise the endless streams of useless photos I own, instead of letting them just reside as megabyte thieves.


Monday – Ah yes, Monday… going by this photo I can tell you Monday was not very productive at all and this photo proves to be the most exciting and productive thing to come out of it. I applaud my dogs patience sometimes, especially as I told him to wait while I took a photo.

Tuesday – Now, I was going to lie here but I already feel uncomfortable at the thought of it so I’m going to tell you the truth… this photo wasn’t taken on Tuesday, it was taken on Saturday but Tuesday was spent lounging in my pyjamas and nobody needs to see a photo of that. But I’m not just showing you a random picture of my shoes, I did buy these on Saturday and yes, I’ll admit they look like ordinary shoes (I’m probably hamming this up a lot more than I probably should be…) but you see those laces…. they took me 45 minutes to lace! It consists of two ribbons of different lengths and a lot of patience. They are just so pretty but now I’m too scared to wear them in the fear all my hard work will unravel!

Wednesday – The night of cocktails and sisterly advice. My brother invited me out for a meal organised by a charity for the ‘cancer crew’, which is a gather of all the young people in our area going through cancer treatment. My brother had never been on one of these before and he’s not the biggest talker, whereas I am, so he invited me along to do my social bumblebee bit! And it was great, I think it was nice for him to see he wasn’t the only youngun’ having to deal with all the treatment nonsense. It was great for both of us when we shared some cocktails and got to have a nice brother-sister chat when everyone left!

Thursday – I’m starting to worry about this new tree obsession…it was a sunny day and we had taken The Orson out to the forest to roam the land, pretending to be a mighty hunting dog, when really he couldn’t find a tennis ball if you waved it in his face. But I became really fascinated (I’m ashamed to say…) with stumps of huge fallen trees. Animals had obviously burrowed under them and made new homes but they made me feel a bit like Alice in Wonderland and I was half tempted to go hunting for the white rabbit! Unfortunately, I think if I had done that, at best I would’ve been faced with an angry badger, not an unpunctual bunny.

Friday – This is me pretending to look forlorn and deep. When really I was just bored on the train, with a camera in my hand. This happens more than I care to admit, but still, I like this photo.

Saturday – I got assessment feedback on Friday that made me really happy, but it made me so happy I kept rereading it on Saturday….and sunday…and yesterday… and today…. I’ve never gotten such praise for my school work in all my years and the fact that the lecturer even wrote ‘WOW!’ just made me even more giddy. Allow me a moment to bask in my nerdiness.

Sunday – We went to a place called ‘The Food Factory’, which as the name suggests wasn’t the finest of dining experiences… the food wasn’t bad, but then it wasn’t exactly good either. It was edible. What did amuse me was the sign warning me that egg fried rice contained egg, which did make me understand a bit better what kind of customers they attract… Why have a taken a picture of the air vent? Well, every time I see these at places I stare at them a bit longer than I should in the hope that one day I will see Bruce Willis scrambling through it, I’m not sure what I will do should that day happen but it doesn’t stop me waiting. The day ended with what looks like me drinking wine with my eye and pretending to lick the Squishy Lamb, the way all weeks should end…

Oh, and that plane you see there… I made that plane and it is amazing. It flies and it even does somersaulting flight tricks. This made so happy I yelped in the ‘factory’, causing everyone to look at me with confused concern…

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

trfyt666666666666666666 <- 21:31 – cat stepped on the keyboard

Right, back to business.

Blog started 20:18 – New Years Eve 2010

1.5 glasses of cheap champagne consumed

1 bowl of moussake

Ice cream

This may be the longest blog to write as I’m not really in the mood to write a big something all in one go, but I do intend on writing one! So I will slowly but surely add to this, as the faux-champagne starts to take effect and my words become more illogical (or more logical…) Let the evening commence.

20:35 – Big Fat Quiz of the Year has started, the Quality Street has been unleashed and the first food orders have been placed (in an accidental chauvinistic fashion).

20:37 – I blooming love Eddie Izzard.

20:38 – David Mitchell AND Eddie Izzard, together, just brings a whole new level of awesomeness to life.

20:41 – I’ve learnt that parliment has the worst kitchen in all the world…I have no need for this knowledge.I’m slightly concerned this may have deleted something valuable from my memory and taken it’s place. I will never know what it was I have forgotten, until I need to know it. RIP forgotten memory.

21:17 – Playing hostess with the mostest. All I need is my gingham apron and a 50s curling up-do. I say I’m having a ‘gathering’ but my gathering consists of 2 people and my cohabitee. Although, to be fair, a year a go I would have never had let people even near my front door because I was so ashamed of the house! So look at me! I’ve grown! And the house still looks like a bombsite but a habitable one!!

21:19 – Ding ding! Sausage rolls partially cooked.

21:27 – Yes, I am aware that this blog doesn’t involve me ‘becoming one’ with my words, it does however mean I am ‘becoming one’ with my faux-champagne.

21:38 – Sausage rolls still not cooked but Eddie Izzard is still rather marvellous.

21:53 – I have sucessfully put on a spread fit for a queen…………….’s corgi.

22:07 – Dogs should be vajazzled.

22:11 – K(q”,q’iT)= I will never know.

22:18 – Smiling monkeys are rather amusing.

22:19 – I want a trophy.

22:20 – Arse-tray.

22:34 – The sparkling white wine has now gone, so it’s mango vodka, lemonade

and coffee. Not together but as too seperate drinks. Along with a sugar injection.

33:54 – Insurance is ridiculously expensive on your shiny Astra GTC SRi! But the shininess does make up for it, just about… it’s too scary to drive! Hang on, I should mention we bought a new car today……and kettle………and christmas decoration (it was shiny, in the sale and made up for the one I smashed).

23:00 – while the cat’s away the helicopters will be played.

23:03 – BBQ Lamb.

23:18 – Watch. watch!! WATCH!!!!!! wATCH. wATCH. wATCH. Watch…WATch.

23:23 – nobody seems to like the mini tortilla wraps or spring rolls. More pizza needed.

23:29 – The second reason and last reason cats are cooler than dogs: chasing sweet wrappers like assassins. Reason one – Ninja attacks.

23:36 – Nonchalant is a lovely word.

23:57 – more faux-champagne opened and poured. I’ ve managed to acquire two new kittens this year. I say acquire…. I mean, actively sought out and bought.

23:59 – I’m coherent!!

00:20 – Happy New Year! The year of bloomin’ shiny awesome magic fantasticness of epic dandasticosity. Boom.

00:48 – Life, schizophrenics and cookies. Huh, life is a changin’, confusin’, amusin’ and insprin’.

01:25 – On this minute, hour, moment, I am quite merry, happy and blotto. Hello to the new year! Your are going to be gorgeously handsome and properous. I look forward to your company greatly. Yes, I have failed miserably at expanding my vocabulary but I have a New Year that hasn’t involved me being asleep by 22:30 or setting fireworks off in my face from a shopping trolley, so all in all- a good year! May it be delightful!

Moroccan Chicken Sandwich

The title has nothing to do with the content but the title deserves to be as bizarre as the morning. My sandwich was called ‘Moroccan Chicken’ so why can’t my post?

It is not even 8 in the morning and already the oddest series of events has taken place, so odd that not even my emotions or ability to respond to them has worked out how to react.

I thought I was just waking up with your typical hangover; dehydrated, desert mouth, a fuzzy feeling of forgetfulness and a burning hot knee (I fell over in my ridiculously high shoes which are promptly going in the bin by the way, I have suffered more than enough war wounds to feel justified that they should find a new home with Stig) but it turns out that’s not enough for me to have to deal with on a hazy Sunday morning.

Checking your phone after a night of sambuca and cheap white wine is never recommended. It’s probably best to leave that type of thing until about a week later when you’re original hungover promise to ‘never drink again’ finally fails and you can afford a large glass of anything alcoholic to accompany you while you check the phone. It doesn’t help that modern technology means your phone isn’t just a phone, it’s all forms of communication in one place, so you’re not just checking your voicemail, you’re also checking your texts, email, facebook and sny other social network you might be a part of.

I had an email to say I’d won the lottery (I later found out it’s only £10 so I’ll just move that pink pony and world trip order back to the wish list), I also had an email from my gas company asking for a meter reading and the obligatory sales pitch email.

I had a text from someone wanting to have a serious chat, at nearly 1 in the morning which is no time to be organising social events.

I then had a facebook message from a girl I’ve never met before who apparently found my bag and hunted me down through friends of friends of friends lists. I didn’t even know I had lost my bag… So when I meet this woman I will be presenting her with a lovely bunch of flowers bought with my lottery winnings.  It’s nice to know there are still people out there that don’t empty your wallet, I feel that my faith in humanity is restored just that little bit more. Tis the season and all that!

Just as I think my chaotic morning will end, I find blood on my leopard print coat. Don’t worry, not enough to suggest murder, I think it’s one of the after effects of my knee saying hello to the pavement. There aren’t many times in one’s life that requires the question ‘how to get blood out of faux fur?’ to be written into google. But it turns out I’m not the only one in this world that has that misfortune!

And last but not least – Dave the cat decided I hadn’t had enough to deal with in one morning and decided to be ill in the night. Yay.

So, with everything cleaned, covered and hidden away, I’ve locked myself in my quiet place, with a cup of tea, hoping I will wake up any minute now and find out this was all a dream. A beautifully confusing little sambuca induced dream.

I’m going to need a bigger Moroccan Chicken sandwich.

Tagged , , , , ,