Category Archives: Festive

trfyt666666666666666666 <- 21:31 – cat stepped on the keyboard

Right, back to business.

Blog started 20:18 – New Years Eve 2010

1.5 glasses of cheap champagne consumed

1 bowl of moussake

Ice cream

This may be the longest blog to write as I’m not really in the mood to write a big something all in one go, but I do intend on writing one! So I will slowly but surely add to this, as the faux-champagne starts to take effect and my words become more illogical (or more logical…) Let the evening commence.

20:35 – Big Fat Quiz of the Year has started, the Quality Street has been unleashed and the first food orders have been placed (in an accidental chauvinistic fashion).

20:37 – I blooming love Eddie Izzard.

20:38 – David Mitchell AND Eddie Izzard, together, just brings a whole new level of awesomeness to life.

20:41 – I’ve learnt that parliment has the worst kitchen in all the world…I have no need for this knowledge.I’m slightly concerned this may have deleted something valuable from my memory and taken it’s place. I will never know what it was I have forgotten, until I need to know it. RIP forgotten memory.

21:17 – Playing hostess with the mostest. All I need is my gingham apron and a 50s curling up-do. I say I’m having a ‘gathering’ but my gathering consists of 2 people and my cohabitee. Although, to be fair, a year a go I would have never had let people even near my front door because I was so ashamed of the house! So look at me! I’ve grown! And the house still looks like a bombsite but a habitable one!!

21:19 – Ding ding! Sausage rolls partially cooked.

21:27 – Yes, I am aware that this blog doesn’t involve me ‘becoming one’ with my words, it does however mean I am ‘becoming one’ with my faux-champagne.

21:38 – Sausage rolls still not cooked but Eddie Izzard is still rather marvellous.

21:53 – I have sucessfully put on a spread fit for a queen…………….’s corgi.

22:07 – Dogs should be vajazzled.

22:11 – K(q”,q’iT)= I will never know.

22:18 – Smiling monkeys are rather amusing.

22:19 – I want a trophy.

22:20 – Arse-tray.

22:34 – The sparkling white wine has now gone, so it’s mango vodka, lemonade

and coffee. Not together but as too seperate drinks. Along with a sugar injection.

33:54 – Insurance is ridiculously expensive on your shiny Astra GTC SRi! But the shininess does make up for it, just about… it’s too scary to drive! Hang on, I should mention we bought a new car today……and kettle………and christmas decoration (it was shiny, in the sale and made up for the one I smashed).

23:00 – while the cat’s away the helicopters will be played.

23:03 – BBQ Lamb.

23:18 – Watch. watch!! WATCH!!!!!! wATCH. wATCH. wATCH. Watch…WATch.

23:23 – nobody seems to like the mini tortilla wraps or spring rolls. More pizza needed.

23:29 – The second reason and last reason cats are cooler than dogs: chasing sweet wrappers like assassins. Reason one – Ninja attacks.

23:36 – Nonchalant is a lovely word.

23:57 – more faux-champagne opened and poured. I’ ve managed to acquire two new kittens this year. I say acquire…. I mean, actively sought out and bought.

23:59 – I’m coherent!!

00:20 – Happy New Year! The year of bloomin’ shiny awesome magic fantasticness of epic dandasticosity. Boom.

00:48 – Life, schizophrenics and cookies. Huh, life is a changin’, confusin’, amusin’ and insprin’.

01:25 – On this minute, hour, moment, I am quite merry, happy and blotto. Hello to the new year! Your are going to be gorgeously handsome and properous. I look forward to your company greatly. Yes, I have failed miserably at expanding my vocabulary but I have a New Year that hasn’t involved me being asleep by 22:30 or setting fireworks off in my face from a shopping trolley, so all in all- a good year! May it be delightful!

Christmas Crime.

A true story…

My Christmas story differs from everyone’s I know

It doesn’t talk of carols or sliding angels in the snow.

Santa never loved me, never thought that I was nice

Ever since that naughty thing on a darkened winters night.

It started late one festive eve, when the adults were asleep

I tiptoed to the cookies, with a quiet sneaking creep

I swooped them in my little hands and before it was too late

With a grumble of the belly, I ate the whole darn plate!

But this tale doesn’t end with a belly full of sweets

Another year went passing by and with guilt I left more treats

Just to show our dear ol’ Santa that I wasn’t all that bad

That I hadn’t left him hungry and feeling boiling mad

So on that Christmas morning, I scurried down to see

That he had eaten all the cookies but left no presents by the tree.