Category Archives: Squishy

Do not feed the llamas.

When you stress-eat a packet of wine gums at 7 o’clock in the morning it may be time to admit you’ve bitten off more than you can chew. No, I didn’t just stuff them all at once; the wine gums are just the sprinkles on top of my chaotic life sundae. The cherry would be our new puppy, with never-ending house refurbishment ice cream in the middle and right at the bottom, the best bit, that warm gooey centre that is my Squishy Lamb.

Unfortunately, it seems I’m not able to just tip this glass upside down and devour the best bit!

Two months of dust, drilling and disaster does take its toll, especially with the delightful surprises from wordworm, damp and crumbling walls which pushes the deadline into a head-on collision with the arrival of a little bundle of……………..joy?

Our sleeping, eating, biting bundle of joy.

The joy that likes to sleep all day and bite all evening. This boy sleeps a lot could be quite nice and easy if it didn’t mean that during these epic sleep sessions he is charging himself up for that manic hour when it’s time for the people to sleep. It isn’t until we need to get up and are ready for the day that he decides that the batteries require recharging again.

So sleep really hasn’t paid much of a visit recently, yes we do occasionally get the odd call but we haven’t had one of those real deep all-night conversations that you can’t stop thinking about the next day in quite a long time. This is all fine and expected but a lack of sleep tends to turn this Nonsensical Penguin into the almighty Drama Llama. No, Drama Llama is not a cool new superhero fighting crime by day and performing on stage by night. Drama Llama is an over-analysing, cantankerous, stress monster that has the uncanny ability to push every wrong button and turn every wrong crank of the Squishy Lamb. Drama Llamas and Cranked-up Lambs do not make for a fun time at the zoo!

But its ok, it’s fine, I just need my DL rant, ramble my nonsense to everyone and no one and now I can put my shoulders back down, throw away the empty wine gum packet and remind myself that this stress is only temporary. The house will be transformed from an uninviting dwelling into a sanctuary of smiles, sleep will return our calls and the puppy, well, we can only hope that he realises he is not a professional piercer and my hand doesn’t needany ventilation holes.

DRAMA LLAMA HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! (and so have the wine gums…)

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Job Hunting

I once knew a man, lost and with no real direction

Despite endless hours of mind numbing reflection.

 So he typed up a list of all his talents and skills

To find a new job with some fun and some thrills.

 Office-work was dull and numbers were boring

Not even financial databases could keep him from snoring.

 He wanted adventure, something more than just ‘fine’

So he pulled out his face mask and became a master of crime!

 He dabbled with burglary and breaking in to nice cars

Before a badly planned bank job, left him behind bars.

 Now he’s left shackled, with his new friend Bubba

Who likes to stroke his soft hair and call him his Luvva…

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