Tag Archives: smile


On Tuesday I got on the train and sat next to an old man with a beard, he had a dog the size of a horse (I’ll admit, the dog was the reason I sat there so I could say hello to him) and he started sniffing my leg (the dog, not the man), the man asked if I had a dog, I said yes and carried on stroking the dog.

When the train started moving again, the old man grabbed his crutches and got up, leaving the dog attached by his lead to the chair, I pressume he was going to the toilet, he didn’t say but instead just wandered off, leaving me unknowingly in charge of the dog.

This was all well and good until the food cart started rolling down the walkway, towards this brickwall of a dog that didn’t seem in any hurry to move out of the way.  There was no sign of the old man returning any time soon, everyone else avoided eye contact (as the British do) so I decided I would try and move the dog. With the aid of a squeaky voice, forceful nudging and other weird noises that I’m sure confused the dog as well as those around me, I managed to get him to sit under the table so the food cart could pass.

I thought my job had been done but oh no, the dog had other ideas; he came wandering out from the table and plonked himself next to me. I gave him a stroke and then sat back.

He whined.
I stroked him again.woof
He whined.
I stroked.
He whined.



I ignored him, thinking that was just what he did.
He whined and pawed my leg.

I had made a new friend…

For the next 15 minutes I stroked this dog (not that I was complaining, I bloomin’ love dogs) in fear that he would kick me in the leg again.

The owner hadn’t come back at this time, but then he was on crutches and the toilets were pretty far away… but my stop was approaching and I had to make my way off. For a couple of minutes I contemplated staying on the train and missing my stop just so I could stay with the dog. (I also thought about taking the dog, thinking the old man had left him for me.)
As I got up and walked away, he looked at me with sadness and with a little whine… I felt like such a bastard!

I stepped off the train and we never saw each other again. I really hope his owner came back soon.

I miss that dog, he made my week.

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Today I was painting, nothing exciting, just something destined for a cubby hole at the youth centre, while the young people milling around, drinking milkshakes and seeking shelter from the rain.

One of them looked a little glum, as though she’d been crying, not really in the mood to smile (which is unacceptable in my book), so my quick and nonsensical thinking led to the second she looked away and back at me I had painted a cat nose and whiskers on myself. From that point on she could not maintain a straight face and from her endless giggles I could tell my work had been done.

20130529-082004.jpgIt even inspired her and her two friends to ask for the same feline upgrade! This was all well and good for them, they were being collected in a car by their mum, avoiding the stares of the general public. I however, still had a food shop to do and a train to catch…

But, not one to grasp the sensible; instead of washing it off I decided to embrace my inner (and outer) kitty and leave it on. Whenever I do things like this (more often than I should probably admit) I like to adopt a very serious and stern face, one that denotes a ‘no-nonsense’ attitude, a complete contrast to what the nonsense on my face suggests, which only confuses staring passers-by even further.

I enjoy their curious glances [insert cat killing pun here], but what I enjoy even more is the hope that someone who is having a really bad day, catches a peek at my curling poster paint whiskers and has their grey cloud knocked from their crown.

It makes my questionable behaviour worth embracing. So come on, smile meow!


PS. I am also confuddled to report that having cat whiskers painted on resulted in me not getting IDed for alcohol.
PPS. Having cat whiskers painted on also guarantees you your own pair of seats on the train!


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I am becoming increasingly obsessed with this website, if you haven’t taken a look already I suggest you do – it’s quite beautiful!



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